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Len Kennedy, Esq.

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(no subject) [Nov. 9th, 2010|12:21 am]
Len Kennedy, Esq.

Should I cool it or should I blow?

You should cool it.
4(44.4%)
You should blow.
5(55.6%)
LinkFling Some Poo

(no subject) [May. 9th, 2010|07:07 pm]
Len Kennedy, Esq.
[Current Mood |artisticherpes]

I found the current crop of Mother’s Day cards to be more than a little trite, clichéd, and uninspiring. So I made my own:


Happy Mother's Day, you fucking cocksucker.
Link4 Masturbating Monkeys Have Flung Some Poo|Fling Some Poo

I Stumbled Upon This Not Too Long Ago and I Just Had to Share . . . [Mar. 16th, 2009|01:23 am]
Len Kennedy, Esq.
Abortion Sends Babies to God Faster  :)



Also, I’d totally forgotten about this joke:
A young man saunters into a bar and says to the barman, “Gimme a double Scotch on the rocks.”

The barman obliges and the guy swallows it in one gulp.

“Gimme another,” he orders.

The barman obliges and the guy also swallows this one in a single gulp.

“Are you celebrating or something?” asks the barman.

“I just had my first blowjob,” replies the guy.

“Well, in that case, the next one’s on the house.  Ah, I can still remember my first blowjob,” beams the barman.

“No thanks,” replies the guy.  “If two double Scotches won’t get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will.”
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(no subject) [Jan. 19th, 2009|01:11 am]
Len Kennedy, Esq.
An hour or so ago, I happened to stumble upon this cartoon in John Callahan’s (rather dated) Freaks of Nature—not entirely by accident, mind you, since I was intentionally looking for this specific cartoon—and the power of Christ compelled me to take a quick snapshot of it and post it here:

Crude cartoon or subtle metaphor?  You decide.

X-posted to randompictures, because this picture is completely random.
Link1 Masturbating Monkey Has Flung Some Poo|Fling Some Poo

It’s Not the Heat, It’s the Humidity . . . [Jan. 16th, 2009|03:21 am]
Len Kennedy, Esq.
[Current Mood |anxiousbrr]

Brr
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A New Me for a New Year [Jan. 2nd, 2009|01:11 am]
Len Kennedy, Esq.
[Tags|, , ]
[Current Mood |predatoryhardcore]

Oh yeah, I’m pretty sure the horseshoe mustache, a.k.a. trucker mustache, is going to make a comeback. . . .

Hello, ladies . . .

Get in line, ladies.  Just be sure to clean up when you’re done.  :P
Link4 Masturbating Monkeys Have Flung Some Poo|Fling Some Poo

Boogity Boogity [Jan. 1st, 2009|04:04 am]
Len Kennedy, Esq.
[Tags|, , ]
[Current Mood |creativeborn again]

Happy New Year, you scurvy rat bastards!  Here’s to hoping Baby New Year 2009 isn’t stillborn.

*raises drink and falls out of chair*

For some reason, I am reminded of this picture:

Fetuses aren't even chickens!

That’s fucking great.

*makes fuck in pants and falls out of chair again*
Link1 Masturbating Monkey Has Flung Some Poo|Fling Some Poo

Brr [Dec. 22nd, 2008|02:34 am]
Len Kennedy, Esq.
Fuck a Dick!  (@_o)
Link1 Masturbating Monkey Has Flung Some Poo|Fling Some Poo

Alternate Reality #23,672 [Dec. 19th, 2008|03:33 am]
Len Kennedy, Esq.
DON'T FEED THE HUMANS! (°_¤)
Link6 Masturbating Monkeys Have Flung Some Poo|Fling Some Poo

I Made a Macro! Yay! [Dec. 11th, 2008|02:12 am]
Len Kennedy, Esq.
[Tags|]
[Current Mood |artisticartistic]

I felt compelled to make this macro after seeing tetrabinary’s post in wtf_inc:

Does this fat make my fat look fat? {NSFW/NSFL}Collapse )
LinkFling Some Poo

This Is meladiction’s Fault . . . [Dec. 10th, 2008|12:12 am]
Len Kennedy, Esq.
[Current Mood |blankpoopdick]

On the twelfth day of Christmas, lenken sent to me...
Twelve socrates drumming
Eleven epicurus piping
Ten epictetus a-leaping
Nine books freethinking
Eight vaginas a-reading
Seven dionysus a-writing
Six memetics a-living
Five bu-u-u-utthole surfers
Four tori amos
Three doubting thomas
Two my penis
...and a voltaire in a psychology.
Get your own Twelve Days:
Link1 Masturbating Monkey Has Flung Some Poo|Fling Some Poo

*bink* [Dec. 8th, 2008|02:34 am]
Len Kennedy, Esq.
In 2008, lenken resolves to...
Take evening classes in existentialism.
Keep my rebt clean.
Eat more chemical brothers.
Spend more time with my vaginas.
Volunteer to spend time with jahoobies.
Find a new deee-lite.
Get your own New Year's Resolutions:
Link2 Masturbating Monkeys Have Flung Some Poo|Fling Some Poo

wut [Dec. 7th, 2008|01:23 am]
Len Kennedy, Esq.
Which creature of the night are you?
Your Result: Nigger
 

Your raging id needs no chemical incentive to break out into a fiery orgy of destruction. When you're not burning, you're brooding. Unlike Batman, however, you can't go out at night without Robin.

Whore
 
Slut
 
Tramp
 
Wandering Jew
 
Lost/Abandoned Retard
 
Michael Jackson
 
Which creature of the night are you?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz
Link1 Masturbating Monkey Has Flung Some Poo|Fling Some Poo

You’ll Die by Being a Goddamn Fucking Retarded Faggot (Θ_∅) [Dec. 5th, 2008|02:34 am]
Len Kennedy, Esq.
[Tags|, , , , , , ]
[Current Mood |angryapoplectic]

You'll die by being Murdered.

You will be murdered... namely cause you sure no how to push peoples buttons.



'How will you die?' at QuizGalaxy.com


Or is it “namely, ’cause you sure know how to push people’s buttons”?

Okay, I know I can be a bit of a grammar Nazi, but, c’mon, are you fucking kidding me?  As if the simple-minded yes/no, black/white questions weren’t stupid enough, I finish your insipid fucking quiz and what do I get?  “You will be murdered... namely cause you sure no how to push peoples buttons.”

Seriously, what the fuck is that?  If the word fagtard hadn’t already been invented, I would have had to invent it just for you, you fucking faggot-ass retard.  It’s a shame that when your mother tried to abort you with her wet/dry vac, she only managed to suck out half your brain.
Link2 Masturbating Monkeys Have Flung Some Poo|Fling Some Poo

This Is What I Look Like Now [Dec. 2nd, 2008|02:02 am]
Len Kennedy, Esq.
I’ve been wearing contacts for a few months now, and I’ve once again decided that my goatee looks better with an attached mustache.

I think the nail in the wall is what really makes this picture:

Félix Fénéon Reincarnated?  `:|

Finally, a picture in which I am smiling.  :)

But be not deceived, all ye who playfully nibble on the fruits and vegetables and crickets in my garden: This Internet is very serious.  Very, very serious.  `:|

Félix Fénéon Reincarnated?  `:|

And this was me as a much younger man, back in 1906, when I wrote Novels in Three Lines under the pseudonym Félix Fénéon:

Okay, this isn't actually me....

There are more than 1,000 Nouvelles en trois lignes—all published in 1906 in the Paris daily newspaper Le Matin.  This is one of them:
“If my candidate loses, I will kill myself,” M. Bellavoine, of Fresquienne, Seine-Inférieure, had declared.  He killed himself.
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This Post Brought to You by the Letter F [Nov. 28th, 2008|01:23 am]
Len Kennedy, Esq.
[Current Mood |lethargiclethargic]

I’m feeling a bit sluggish, a tad lethargic.  Lassitudinous?  If I had known that AIDS would make me so goddamn sleepy, I never would have fucked that monkey.



X-posted to my fucking Facebook.  If you happen to have a fucking Facebook but have yet to friend me on your fucking Facebook, please to be friending me on your fucking Facebook forthwith.  Fuckers.
Link3 Masturbating Monkeys Have Flung Some Poo|Fling Some Poo

(no subject) [Nov. 27th, 2008|02:00 am]
Len Kennedy, Esq.
[Current Mood |angrydisgusted]

Have fun “stuffing your turkeys,” you sick fucks.  Try not to get any “gravy” on the “countertop,” you fucking perverts.  You people make me sick.  >:(
Link2 Masturbating Monkeys Have Flung Some Poo|Fling Some Poo

There Is a 96% Chance That This Cat Is Plotting to Kill Someone [Nov. 18th, 2008|12:34 am]
Len Kennedy, Esq.
[Current Mood |scaredscared]




(@_o)



Link4 Masturbating Monkeys Have Flung Some Poo|Fling Some Poo

How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You [Nov. 16th, 2008|01:23 am]
Len Kennedy, Esq.
[Current Mood |worriedconcerned]

How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You

by Matthew Inman




Read More . . . Your Life May Depend Upon ItCollapse )



Is your cat plotting to kill you?


Link2 Masturbating Monkeys Have Flung Some Poo|Fling Some Poo

Something Seems a Little Out of Place in This Picture [Nov. 13th, 2008|01:23 am]
Len Kennedy, Esq.
[Tags|, , ]

A couple weeks ago, I happened upon this rather odd sight:

pic cut for sizeCollapse )

As it turns out, Bridget’s boyfriend had bought her the wrong tampons—those ridiculously tiny tampons that were apparently designed for nosebleeds.
Link1 Masturbating Monkey Has Flung Some Poo|Fling Some Poo

(no subject) [Nov. 10th, 2008|12:34 am]
Len Kennedy, Esq.
[Tags|, , ]

One night, a month or so ago, I let Calico in, not realizing that she had brought me a little present.  It wasn’t until about thirty minutes later, when I went out to the kitchen to grab a beer, that I noticed her thoughtful gift:

pics cut for sizeCollapse )


At first, I thought it was just a toy snake—until I poked it and it started twitching.  Since I had already eaten, I decided to toss him back outside.  I grabbed him by the neck and walked him out to the deck, and he nonchalantly lit a cigarette and slithered off into freedom.



X-posted to randompictures
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