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Neo-Dadaist Quasi-Existentialism for Dummies

A Pellmell Slapdash Claptrap Mishmash of Bilge, Dreck, Tripe, and Schlock

Name:
Len Kennedy, Esq.
Birthdate:
19 December 1972
External Services:
  • lenken@livejournal.com
  • lenkenesq AIM status
  • Don’t Mind If I Do . . .

On December 19, 1972, at St. Luke’s Hospital in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, I was ejected from my mother’s cockpit.

I went places, I did things—yada, yada, yada . . . blah, blah, blah . . . et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. . . .

Len is, was, and forever shall be what Len is.  And was.  FOREVER!  (°_¤)

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Excerpts from
www.lenkennedy.com


’Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have known what it’s like to have sex with someone besides oneself.

Premature ejaculation is the sincerest form of flattery.

A recent Gallup poll asked whether adultery should be a punishable crime.  51% of the respondents said yes.  The men, however, disagreed.

You don’t know what you’ve got till your wife cuts it off and feeds it to the chickens.

I’ve often wondered whether a thousand chimps plinking away on a thousand typewriters could eventually come up with a play as good as Shakespeare’s Hamlet — until Lynyrd Skynyrd somehow managed to write the song “Freebird.”

Never kick a guy in the balls just because he called you a bitch.  Do it before he gets the chance.

One man’s frozen sperm is another man’s low-carb ice cream.

Concentration camps don’t necessarily improve one’s concentration.

Whoever said “Honesty is the best policy” was probably a compulsive liar.

Though I normally miss a woman’s subtle flirtations, I had a feeling Miss Jones was hitting on me when she stuck her tongue up my ass.

It’s ironic that we call swearing adult language when it’s usually the “adults” who get offended by it.

I remember the time I accidentally slipped into a manhole — since then, I’ve been very wary of cross-dressers.

It’s only polite to say “Excuse me” after you’ve accidentally rear-ended someone because you weren’t watching where you were going.  Especially if you’re in a bathhouse.



Below: A portrait of me doing my impersonation of the Ultimate Warrior fishing for Koalas off the coast of Curaçao:

Ooga Booga

Well, that’s what I looked like last year, anyway.  I’ve been wearing contacts for many months now.  This is what I look like now:


Félix Fénéon Reincarnated?  `:|

Yes, finally, a picture in which I am smiling.  :)

But be not deceived, all ye who playfully nibble on the fruits and vegetables and crickets in my garden: This Internet is very serious.  Very, very serious.  `:|


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